Nikki Loscalzo, Ed. M., RLT

Don’t Settle, Love Fully

I help stuck couples learn to reconnect and build the emotionally intimate relationships that they deserve. 

My clients come to me because they are struggling in their relationships like you are. Despite being committed to one another, willing to work on their relationships, and highly successful in the rest of their lives, their relationships feel lonely and painful. They often feel hopeless, desperate, or just plain stuck. Since they’ve tried couples therapy in the past and felt like it either didn’t help, didn’t stick, or even made things worse, they fear that there may be no path forward for their relationship.

When they first come in, they have spent years in conflict about surface issues, stuck in a pattern that entrenches the disconnection between them, riding the wave of their emotions and reactions, at the mercy of the rawest and most sensitive parts of themselves and each other. Over time, these reactions have made too many topics and issues feel impossibly loaded, leaving them in a state where they either avoid these issues entirely or blow up about them. 

Whether they are grappling with infidelity, experiencing sexual/intimate disconnection and dissatisfaction, unable find a way to build communication and connection, feeling anger and resentment, in conflict about parenting issues, caught in an intense period of high conflict, or on the brink of ending the commitment, their relationship has become a source of disconnection, turmoil, and pain instead of authenticity, intimacy, understanding, and growth. They feel lonely, resentful, hurt, and misunderstood

The un-repaired damage from years of hurt, anger, resentment, and unexpressed wants and needs gets in the way of the relationship that they want and deserve. They worry about the impact of their relationship on their kids. They feel like they’re failing. And they doubt they will ever be able to experience the intimacy and understanding that will allow them to openly share their true selves with their partner.

Before they came to see me, they started to doubt that their relationship could ever get better. They worried that talking about the problems between them and facing the reality of how difficult their relationship had become would be too painful to handle. And they feared that opening up and acknowledging their true feelings would bring their relationship to the breaking point.

Like my clients, you deserve to be in an intimate, connected, and essentially cherishing relationship. If you want to heal the damage that gets in the way of intimate connection I’d love to help you get there.

The relationship you wish for is possible. Most of us have times in our lives when we need help to rebuild the passion and connection in our relationships. If this is where you are - reach out. I can help.